Everyone Needs A Fuck-You Fund

I recently was reminded of how liberating it is to have a fuck-you fund, and how thankful I am to have one set aside for moments of frustration. I’m not going to be explicit, but imagine the following:

You fly from Los Angeles to San Francisco for the weekend, the night before a big music festival. You’ve been excited about this trip for months, and a friend of a friend happened to be performing, had a spare ticket, and offered it to you a few months back. Now that you’re in the city, have already paid for every other piece of the trip, and can’t wait to get to the festival, you learn that that spare ticket actually required, erm, let’s just say some sort of implied exchange — which you, personally, are not comfortable with.

Boom. No tickets. You just flew up for nothing. And you can’t get a refund on the bus tickets or your flight. Do you just pack up and go home?

No! You bust out the fuck-you fund, buy a $200 ticket off Craigslist the morning of, and go on with your bad self!

***

When I say fuck-you fund, this isn’t quite an emergency fund. This is cash you can drop without batting an eye when you really want to stick your middle fingers in the air at someone. Your boss, your douche bag friend-of-a-friend, your brand spankin’ new ex, your landlord, your Craigslisted roommate from hell… You decide. But have it ready.

It can be an extra $50, or an extra couple thousand dollars. Whatever it is, it’s peace of mind that you won’t find yourself stuck somewhere you don’t want to be. You can move out, quit, or in my case, buy your own damn BottleRock ticket, and let the drama roll off you like water off a duck’s back.

Here are just a few other instances where I was thankful to have a fuck-you fund:

When I had a college roommate who would alternate between locking herself in the room and shouting at and/or punching the rest of the housemates
Local Hotel: ~$40/night 

When the CEO of my first startup told me to get rid of my cat (we all lived and worked out of a house together at the time)
New Apartment: ~$1680/mo

When my ex wanted to fight over furniture I got for free on Craigslist, two years earlier
Cost to move out and move on: ~$2300 (thoroughly detailed here)

Any time I’ve ever needed a Lyft to get away from a date gone sour
Lyft: ~$5-15 per ride

I’m sure there are plenty of other times I’ve needed or used my fuck-you fund, but I think you get the idea. It really is the handiest little thing in the world. Never find yourself without a fuck-you fund.

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